Mum to daughter: My chatterbox neighbour tells everyone you make love with your fiancé. Daughter to mum: People are spiteful tongues. I just have to make love with anybody to have them tell I make love with my fiancé.
As a result of her effort to copy Madonna, Lola, the Italian singer, ended in hospital after her song recital. As she threw her panties to the audience, she was keeping being inside.
- Sue, your husband is about to jump out of the window. - Tell that idiot he is a cuckold, not a bird.
Luna over the phone: Good morning Susie. Would you be taking ill? I just saw a physician getting out of your place? Susie: Well, Luna, yesterday morning I saw a soldier get out of your house. Were you at war?
- Tell me, Mrs Flapper, why do you want to get a divorce? - My husband treats me like a dog. - Does he mistreat you? Does he beat you? - Not at all, he wants me to be faithful to him.
This took place in Cork, a harbour-town of the green Catholic Ireland of St-Patrick. Christie left her family and her country five years ago and her parents had never heard of her since. She is back home today.
Her father tells her off sharply: What the hell did you do all that years long? Christie: I was a prostitute. Father, making the sign of the cross: Shame on you! How dare you? Christie: I had just brought some jewels and an Astrakhan coat for mum and the key of a villa on the Riviera for both of you taking some holiday. Mother: Oh my God! Your father is getting deaf and mistook what you said; he thought you said you had been a protestant.
CS on former text: all THESE years long (that's a bit more formal in the mouth of a Catholic Irish father of Ireland).
At a party: Philip to a babe: Let's have another round. Babe: No, I'll pass. It gives a pain in my thighs. Philip : Oh I see, they are slacking off? Babe: Say, they are speading out. (Philip doesn't reply but anyone guess his feeling.)
CS of the former text: anyone GUESSES his feelingS
A burglar to his burglar-mate: Watch out. Cops are coming. The mate: What are we doing? First burglar : Let's jump through the window. Mate : But we are on the 13th floor! First burglar: It's not the time to be superstitious.