To try to give an answer to that pending question a group of GGusers set up yesterday night a commission of enquiry. Iâ€™ve been hired as the first secretary in charge of coordinating the several ways of investigations that are to be lead. The committee held its first meeting yesterday yet. Around the table were sitting: A biologist highly qualified to assess the age of cells. A psychologist specialised in behaviourism in charge of analysing Willyâ€™s doings. A graphologist in charge of studying every Willyâ€™s writings. A spy in charge of tailing the Security Guard. A human lie detector in charge of testing his speeches. An economist in charge of auditing the role of the Security Guard inside the Delavigne Corporation. A female techie (maybe Zina) second to none in computerising the collected data to set up significant statistics. Myself jotting down whatâ€™s said. Thanks to Amyâ€™s intervention the old witch of Limerick promised to collaborate to the committee but she turned down the invitation to come on the meeting (held on a secret place) on the pretext that her broomstick had recently collided with a UFO (carrier pigeon? flying wizard? angel? Martian?) and had to be fixed.
At this stage in the development of investigations a very few clues have been collected. The biologist has to wait for the cells that he plans to put under the microscope.
The behaviourist yet noticed that the Security Guard always does the right things at the right place at the right moment. That shows that our man is still in the prime of life.
The graphologist has already picked out several slips of the pen in Willyâ€™s writing, notably the one in this column headline turning the Delavigne Corp. into a abundant Crop from the vine. That feature leads him to think that Willy is either nervous, either old. The first of these hypotheses is not at all cross-checked by the psychologistâ€™s conclusions that point out that Willy is always cool (Peace out! he always says) thus not fidgety. That why this clue would rather call for a man of mature years.
The spy said he was right away starting on his way to shadowing the good man. The human lie detector has not detected any lie. Willy is a right man in the true sense of the word. The question is: How is the uprightness of a man related to his age?
The economist in charge of the audit brought in the fact that Willyâ€™s acts and doings perfectly suits with the charge that is his. What are then the age standards of a good Security Guard?
Zina (but is it really Zina? Iâ€™m not sure to make her out.) has already drawn up the program in order to treat the forthcoming data.
The old witch of Limerick let know that the vapours coming out her brew were an omen of a man that could be younger than he looks like.
As secretary of the committee I invite all the GGusers â€“ beginners as advanced â€“ to hand over any clue that could help to resolve the problem.
I have to thank all of you, dear GGusers, who brought in some clues. None of them were made public. The precious clues have been collected off record by our spy.
So far the spy has outlined a rough portrayal of the Security Guard.
beautiful, of course! tall, six feet in fact, weighing about 12 stones, dark hair, brown hair in fact, - > no grey hair yet ! even not at the temples no beard, wears a grey cap (never puts it off), tanned skin (Delavigneâ€™s premises are located in a sunny resort), athleteâ€™s build, handgun on the right side of his belt, - (never comes out of its holster except at the weekly training on the shooting range), no bunch of keys (the doors are all electronically secured), cell phone in a holster, looks cool and good-natured.
Our techie (Zina ? but is it really Zina? Iâ€™m not sure.) has already set up an algorithm to reckon the age of Willy. It will work only on December 28, 2006. On that day itâ€™ll be reliable at a rate of 99%. I invite you to check the program on next Thursday 28th.
1. Choose a number between 1 and 9 2. Multiply it by 2 3. Add + 5 4. Multiply the result by 50 5. Add 1756 6. Subtract the year of birth (4 digits) 7. The result is a number with 3 digits; delete the first digit. 8. The result is the age (rate of reliability on Dec 28, 2006 : 99%)
Please check the program with yourself and keep me posted. For Willy, eager to know his own age, I thank you.
Have been waiting eagerly for this 28 December 00h00 to come. My friend Patsy and me checked the mysterious algorithm some minutes after midnight. It worked for me. It did not for Patsy. I am inside the 99%. Patsy belongs to the 1 failing percent. She claims she is always a deprived girl because she was born on December 31. I think she is wrong, just sad because the reckoning didnâ€™t work for her. I try to comfort her. She gets wrong by only one year! And itâ€™s in the good way! Who can feel sorry for being one year younger than thinking to be?
Hope Willy will read me. Please Willy, tell me your year of birth. Iâ€™ll make my best to reckon your age.
Willy answered Cathy ? Yeah! Thatâ€™s all well and good but he hadnâ€™t got a clue!
I wouldnâ€™t encroach on the preserve of the techie appointed by the committee but Iâ€™ll tell you what. Itâ€™s about a so-called integral worked out by a so-called computer (you for instance). At first you guess the approximate age of Willy. Let be it 39. You ask Willy to give a Yes or No answer to some questions. Then you ask: Willy my man, are you older that 39? Suppose he says Yes, you ask: Willy my man, are you older that 44? Suppose he says No, you ask: Willy my man, are you older that 34? Little by little the sounded range shrinks up to one single number thatâ€™s his age. Got it?
Would Willy turn down the game? He may not! What a bad publicity for Delavigne Corp. that its best Security Guard pooh-poohs plain questions asked by its potential customers! Anyhow Willy is well-known for being a man of good will. Until now he always provided any subject about himself or started by himself with a suitable follow-up. Would the issue be classified information? Loyal Willy wonâ€™t let the cat out of the bag. But the good man will utter a "Hum hum" or a single "hum". A recent psychological survey has shown that when people say â€œHum humâ€ it points out a positive answer. As they utter a single "Hum", that means â€œNoâ€.
To get off with the task, I suggest Cathy starts asking Willy. Wasnâ€™t she talking to him a while ago?
Hey Tom! I'm sure older than 39! Hint : Bruno Delavigne's grandfather (Xavier) was a good friend of mine... I wish you a wonderfull & healthy New Year 2007! And have a funky blast on the 31st !! Peace Out - Willy.
About the funky blast, sure thing, Willy. As you make it work with the Tom's process, I'll go on with a further Y or N question. You were a good friend of Xavier, you said. Thus you must be as old as Abraham himself. My question is: Willy, my man, are you older than 139 ?